Mental Health Songwriting Production

My Mental Illness Experience. Every morning feels the same. As I get up my head is full of confusion, feeling dizzy and worried what is going to happen at university today. Some days my feelings takeover my whole body and some days I wish I wasn’t here! On the way to university thoughts are rushing through my mind like raging buffaloes fearing for their lives. When I get to university I look at every person and see if they have the same feelings that I do, but I can’t see what they are thinking. I wish I was a ‘normal person’ like everyone else in my class. I wish I was someone who had confidence and could socialise like all the other kids. I wish I was brave enough to participate and join in without worrying if I’m being judged. It makes me feel like an outcast of the world or misfit. In my class I’m too scared to show what I really know because I think kids will tease or bully me even though they were actually supportive and nice. My mind never stops, it feels like it is going to explode and I over think things. When I go to bed I can’t get rid of sad thoughts, like dad’s and mum’s life without me. If I was to take my own life how could I take back all the things I’ve said to them that I didn’t really mean. When I think of those things my heart starts beating like it wants to come out of me and my chest starts to hurt. I can’t really explain what I feel like to people. When I talk about my feelings I feel really heavy-hearted. My life feels like the ocean, it comes in waves. Some days are good and some aren’t. I love things that makes my mind stop thinking, like fixing up an old phone because it takes things off my mind and cleaning and organizing because it stops me thinking about things because I have to concentrate. Sometimes I ask myself “what is normal, am I normal?” because they can’t actually see it.

Frankly I was scare, emotionally impaired and feeling forever unprepared and I don't want to die and I hardly want to live, I feel like i am losing losing the fight. Turns out that I just need a friend to be there till the end. There are lots of people that suffer mental health illness I am only one of them. I wish that everyone COULD see it so I didn’t feel so weird all the time, I wish that everyone could see it so that I and every other people who feels the same didn’t feel so alone. Today, I am now a loss survivor and a past sufferer of a mental health challenge. I knows too well the impacts of mental health and suicide on families and communities.

Many stay silent due to the stigma. My friend a song writter from Australia decide to collaborate with me to write a song that gives the general public an insight of what is it like to be suffer a mental illness. We hope that this song will connecting, supporting and encouraging one another to talk about their feelings and challenges because “It Ain’t Weak to Speak”. and we also do hope with this song we are able to encourage young generation to be open, engage in conversation and be vulnerable and changing the culture of modern masculinity and strength.

#mentalhealt #music